Spending a Minute with the Minute Hour’s #1 Fan

In the last three years, I have interviewed quite the list of Real Fans, such as Bob Learnings (#1 fan of the actor Kevin James) and Kevin James (#1 fan of the 2009 film Paul Blart: Mall Cop), but there is one fan in particular that has always slipped from my grasp: Leo Fieldrick. Through the [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] means, I’ve been gathering an extensive amount of knowledge on Fieldrick, and the artist he stans* so heavily (a YouTuber by the name of Hour, The Minute), however, I had yet to actually meet the Real Fan, as he has been dodging my calls, emails, letters, and threats since I first joined the journalism team for Real Conversation’s newsletter back in 2017. That is, until today. 

Using the most intelligent RC vehicle ever, my nine year old son Linus’ Spy Gear Spy Video TRAKR, I was able to follow Fieldrick’s actions day to day from a safe distance, and finally locate his place of work (some oatmeal plant in Missouri), and finally ask him some questions. When I approached him, he seemed kind and ready to talk with me, but as soon as he heard I was from Real Conversation, he immediately tried to get out of conversing with me. “Look, I don’t understand who The Minute Hour is,” he told me, a statement I am sure most TMH fans sympathize with; The Minute Hour’s style is somewhat niche, so it is fair for Fieldrick to find a lack of understanding in the majority of content uploaded to the channel. “I don’t know what you’re asking me,” he continued. I haven’t got to ask you anything yet, I thought to myself,  since you won’t fucking let me, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Je- 

“Look, I don’t understand who The Minute Hour is.”
– Leo Fieldrick, SSN: 799-00-0123 (face blurred to protect Leo Fieldrick’s privacy)

“I’m not interested in what you’re selling,” Fieldrick added, disrupting my hateful thoughts against him. “Selling?” I asked him. “We are selling Real Conversations, Mr. Fieldrick! We are selling Life, something you seem to be without at the moment. I’ve been watching you, Leo. You don’t seem to do much beyond work, do you? So tell me, what is it exactly you are keeping from me? Why are you so hellbent on avoiding having a real conversation for once? We all have to have one eventually.” At that last remark, Fieldrick seemed uncompelled to continue our conversation. “Please,” he told me, with earnest fear in his eyes, “stop harassing me.” And with that final sentence, he drove off. Damn it, I thought as I watched him drive away in his FOO mandated golf cart, I’ll crack you soon enough; I’ll find out why you really love TMH…

*Stan (noun): an extremely or excessively enthusiastic and devoted fan. – (learned this slang from my niece, Tulip!) 

for the video interview with Leo Fieldrick, click here.

By Lanyard Rock, 4/7/2020

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