Superficial Supergroup’s Superfan

If you have been keeping up with my twitter account, than I am sure you are aware by now that I’ve been off the team for a few months (following a mental breakdown at work on Valentine’s Day*), but it is great to finally be back in the cockpit (hm, the cock pit…that is somewhere I would kill to be right now), and distracting myself from the intense loneliness I constantly find myself feeling while at home. 

I forgot how much I missed the interviews I got to do for Real Conversation until today, while meeting with Superheaven 77’s #1 fan: Greg Wallace. Superheaven 77 sounded like a cool collaborative project I’d be interested in (mainly because it sounds like a great way to meet a large group of men, and cure my lonely heart). From what Wallace said, it seemed as if they had many more years worth of content up their sleeves, but after scouting their YouTube channel myself, I learned Wallace probably has higher expectations for the project’s future than its creators. 

“BLAH BLAH IM STUPID!!!!”
– Greg Wallace, SSN: 949-77-7555 (face blurred to protect Greg Wallace’s privacy)

“Superheaven 77’s use of collaboration really made me realize how uncreative the competition is,” he told me, as we sat together in an obscure and undisclosed field. Wait, how the fuck did I even get here? I thought to myself as I looked around at my surroundings. There were a few cows nearby. Why are we so near to these cows? Aren’t cows dangerous?? Why couldn’t we do this at a bar? Luckily, these racing thoughts worked a charm on keeping me distracted, and not once during the interview did I long for someone to hold me, or kiss me, or buy me flowers on a rainy day (well maybe I thought about it a few times, but who is keeping count?). 

Anyway, following my realization of where we were, I decided it was probably best to call the interview here. Wallace tried to keep talking but I told him to shut his mouth and be honored with the little time he did get to spend with me. “Not many men get this opportunity,” I told him, but he did not seem as impressed as I had hoped. Oh well, perhaps the next fan I interview will find themselves holding a higher respect for me. It is possible, even, that this job will be how I find a soulmate… 

*See How This Slouch Fan is Showing His Appreciation to the World, 2/14/2020

for the video interview with Greg Wallace, click here.

By Wally Wimblytoes, 5/03/2020

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